When you don’t belong..

I sometimes feel like a tropical plant trying to grow in a temperate climate.  It can seem as if there aren’t enough of the nutrients I need to become who I truly am and grow into the huge mango tree I am destined to be.  But I learned that like all re-rooted plants, they need to settle, need plenty of nurturing and care until they find their place. I wrote this some months ago, and yet even in that short space of time..things have changed.. veils have shifted.. I have more clarity..

In 2008 I made a decision that would change my life. It was a decision based on yearnings I’d felt and expressed as ‘I want to go into the woods and write’.  I jumped to America, illegally and lived for four years in the back hollers of the North Georgia Mountains. My beloved, who had come to the south many years ago from Montana, and I lived on 10 acres up a dirt track in the midst of a forest.

Our misson was ‘Return to Earth’.  There was a spiritual, political and evolutionary element to our thinking.

My man believed in God and his eternal soul.  He studied many holy books from all religions, finding the nugget of truth in all of them.  He preached kindness even to those who attacked him or abused him.  He spent the first six years of his life in a log cabin without electricity, living with his granny, a hardy pioneer woman who taught him the simple joys of existing close to the earth and the presence of God in everything.

We also earnestly researched information spreading across the internet about what was going on in the world and how we, the people were being dumbed down, manipulated and controlled by the elite force of government in league with corporate and banking interests.

We spoke about how our food supply was being taken over by huge corporations like Monsanto and all of the junk and processed food companies.

We railed against BP and other oil companies who were increasingly polluting our waters and life with massive oil spills that destroyed wildlife and poisoned the oceans.

We uncovered more and more evidence that the governments of the world were mere puppets of the corporatocracy who bought their patsys into power with money.

and much more..

We knew that the only solution was for the people to return to earth, to hunker down and live more simply, eschewing stuff and media kool-aid for sustainability, kindness to the earth and the blessings of a community working together.

I discovered permaculture and attended a 12 day residential Permaculture Design Course in South Georgia.  I came away inspired to implement this holistic system for living that was both kind to the earth and all life on it and produced immense abundance.

I was happiest hiking through the forest, exploring local creeks and wildlife, being in nature. I was happiest when I was growing food, – raising seeds, planting in holistic ways, learning about the pests and beneficial insects and reaping the harvest. Every day I was awakened by the early morning tapping and crowing of our rooster.  I spent my time gardening, with the animals, cooking and preserving food and researching on the internet.

But, it was not a paradise because every paradise has it’s dark side.

I had found paradise in the land but I also found an even more conservative and prejudiced society than the one I’d emerged from.  Many called this place God’s country and even though it was inhabited by self-proclaimed ‘God’s people’ the energy and thinking was sometimes very far from godly.  And I myself experienced much darkness in human interaction.    AND I also met some lovely gentle sweet and loving folk and I will treasure that experience eternally.

As an imported seed, I had begun to grow in that environment, but there were deadly pests that curtailed my development into a juicy fruit.   Because of my illegal status and some karmic intervention by dark forces, the might of the DHS came down on me and I was torn from the earth and after five months in jails was dumped, bare root, on the shores of my country of birth landing in the decaying bosom of my parents.